My heart- it hurts just as it should;
Its beat seems shallow and not life sustaining.
This dark mood befalls me as I reminisce too much-
It fills me with superficial self-disgust and disappoint for how I’ve seen.

If only I had realized what I needed.

My head- it’s tangled with thoughts not worth thinking;
It aches with the racing of memories best left forgotten.
These remembrances aren’t dark but they cause such torment-
I press a hand to my temple with hopes of dispelling the doubts.

If only I had recognized how things were.

My voice- it’s faltering though the cause is naught;
It feels no longing to be put to use or tested further.
The words that could reason and soothe cannot be called forth-
There’s no use to words when the mind won’t listen.

If only I had heard what could have helped.

My gaze- it darts everywhere when it should stay put;
It sees what’s there and a little beyond but tricks coincide.
The scenes repeat, mix, alter, and come anew-
They can be viewed from every angle but never truly well.

If only I had foreseen the changes ahead.

My touch- it discriminates in the way it knows;
It has its way of hindering and culturing me.
These surfaces and objects anchor and nudge, come loose and stay put-
I have a foundation but contact strays and varies in favor.

If only I had felt what I was supposed to. 

It scratches up my throat,
Searing and choking as it goes,
The weight seeps deep into my bones-
I know this, I control this,

 But it takes over me, worse as ever.

 I can barely fight it every time;
It never abates fully, it’s never sated;
Pulling me under with its ferocity,
I’m able to restrain the urge despite it all.

 But it still takes over me, consistent as ever.

 I chose this, knew it’d be this way,
Yet, the urge calls to me, sings.
Sings a deadly siren song, luring me
To do what I’ve resisted from the very start.

 But it takes over me, unsatisfied as ever.

 The persistent searing drives the craving,
It makes me see nothing but red.
It drives the craving but not my existence;
For some reason, it doesn’t control me.

 But it still takes over me, ineffective as ever.

 It scratches up my throat,
Searing and choking as it goes,
The weight seeps deep into my bones-
I know this, I control this.

This is my e-mail to multiple WB people in response to the announcement that they'd be pushing back 'Half-Blood Prince' release to July 17, 2009! -_-  

PLEASE everyone who can, sign the petition and e-mail as many WB people with complaints as possible!

'Half-Blood Prince' release moved to July 17, 2009!?!?! WILL NOT BE STANDED!!   

    I have just become aware that Warner Bros. has announced that the film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, release date has been pushed back and will be released on July 17, 2009 instead of this coming November! I am completely and utterly OUTRAGED at this announcement and the decision made by WB! I, and millions of other fans, are CRUSHED, DISGUSTED, and SHOCKED at WB making such a decision! We will NOT sit back and become victims and bystanders to such disgusting greed, nonsense, and corrupt capitalism! WB better start rethinking their decision and change it as soon as possible because you and every other WB contact will be getting FLOODED with mail, and NOT of the happy sort!

    Your Alan Horn, President and Chief Operating Officer, Warner Bros. claims: "Our reasons for shifting Half-Blood Prince to summer are twofold: we know the summer season is an ideal window for a family tent pole release, as proven by the success of our last Harry Potter film, which is the second-highest grossing film in the franchise, behind only the first installment. Additionally, like every other studio, we are still feeling the repercussions of the writers' strike, which impacted the readiness of scripts for other films changing the competitive landscape for 2009 and offering new windows of opportunity that we wanted to take advantage of. We agreed the best strategy was to move Half-Blood Prince to July, where it perfectly fills the gap for a major tent pole release for mid-summer." This is absolutely bull shit! Such greedy, corrupt capitalism, paired with weak-based, ill-founded excuses practically makes me physically ill! 'Half-Blood Prince' has been finished and ready, at the most still in editing and post-production!! The 'repercussions of the writers' strike' excuse is completely and utterly void at this time and place! If WB wanted to use that excuse they should have started months upon months ago!

    The next statement made by Jeff Robinov, President of Warner Bros. Motion Picture Group, that: "The release date change does not alter the production schedule for this or future Harry Potter films. Post-production on Half-Blood Prince was completed on time, and the studio's release plans for the two-part Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will not be affected by this change. We know Harry Potter fans are eagerly anticipating seeing the final chapters unfold onscreen. In fact, the good news for them is that the gap will now be shortened between Half-Blood Prince and the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." TRULY and UTTERLY contradicts the first statement! If WB was still feeling 'repercussions of the writers' strike' how in the world is that even possible; not altering the production schedule for other HP films?!?

    We will NOT wait 'a bit longer’; it would not be 'a bit longer'! We waited for more than a year already for 'Half-Blood Prince' and will NOT wait until July 17, 2009!! You want to challenge us fans?!? You worried about making more profits?!? Release 'Half-Blood Prince' the date it IS SUPPOSED to be released, November 21, 2008, and we will show you how much money you can make! You'll be blown away and we'll show you a film like HP does NOT need 'an ideal window' or 'tent pole release' to be HUGE!

-S.   

Here are some petitions everyone should sign: 

 http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/HPHBPNov21/

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/harrypotter6

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/HalfBloodPrince

Megan Fox as..... Melanie Stryder
                

AnnaSophia Robb as..... Wanderer 


Kevin Zegers as..... Jared Howe 


Josh Hutcherson as..... Jamie Stryder 


Jayma Mays as..... The Seeker


Kyle Schmid as..... Ian O'Shea 


J.K. Simmons as..... Uncle Jeb


Tom Wisdom as.... Kyle O'Shea 


Eddie Redmayne as..... Burns

If I Were…Life

If I were to die now,
I'd leave behind the best thing I'd ever done;
Continuing past my mere existence.
But this is my worst fear.

If I were to die now,
I'd leave behind me, my family;
The reason for my existence, joy, and heartache.
I'd have left behind little pieces of me within them all.

In my sister, my brothers, my parents I'd have left memories;
My cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents-
Not only blood ties but immortality through memories, thoughts.
The best thing I could ever do- to love them through and through.

If I were to die now, I'd leave my hopes and dreams- most unfulfilled;
But having achieved more than others ever could dream to.
I'd leave with my being and essence intact,
Pure and uncorrupted by the evils of society while having seen, felt the best of it.

If I were to die now, I'd leave behind my friends, though smaller in number than most-
More true and close to the heart, more real than others' artificial herd.
Some memories left behind, perhaps faint
But always dwelling in the back of the head, like a thought you're always trying to recall. 

Other accomplishments beg to be mentioned,
Persistence and hard work to receive good grades,
Thriving in higher education, higher meaningful thought;
Expressing such things and forming individual opinion.

But if I were to die now, those would not leave a lasting mark;
The best thing I've ever done is life;
Is live, is love, 
My family, my friends, my humanity, my society, my life.

Fate’s Prophecy

The path twists and twines and still you go on.

You come to dead ends but you still walk strong.

The chill of the winds in your ear is a bitter song.

And you find out many others are forever gone.

A long exhausting journey you’ve had to make.

A fate that’s wanted by none you have to take.

You fight and protect with your own life at stake,

And give up a normal life for many other’s sake.

A great prophecy was told by an unlikely seer,

You were to defeat darkness or be driven into it, but which one was not clear.

You had once been saved by a parent’s love that you hold dear,

And you fear only fear.

You suffered so much loss in so little time,

And still you were able to cope with not one single whine,

Though living while many others die is a very large fine,

You never gave in even though hope was no clear sign.

Your fate has been written.

Your path has been lighten.

So you must fulfill the prophecy that you have been given.

If not fulfilled the consequences are a plenty and the world you know will be stricken.

The path twists and twines and still you go on.

You come to dead ends but you still walk strong.

The chill of the winds in your ear is a bitter song,

And you find out many others are forever gone.

((This, as was the last, is an older piece of mine..written between 3 or so years ago.))

Ending Thought

The rain falls in a half-hearted manner,

As she raises her head to gaze at an ocean of black shadows;

The once stunning green eyes are clouded as the priest’s voice drones on without a stammer.

He had left her a boat to follow but had left no paddles.

He had always said it was the thought that counts,

But what thought had he given her when his misery overrode him?

What thought had he given her when he let blood run from his wrists and let death make its killing pounce?

He said it was the thought that counts but in the end his thought had been hauntingly dim.

In the beginning he would have given her anything,

Though most gifts were silly but sweet,

It was the thought that counted.

And she had thought their love couldn’t be beat,

But it could and it was when death’s horse was mounted.

The devils of depression gnawed at his mind.

There was so much in life he wanted to see but so much he’d rather die before seeing.

He never thought he’d think of leaving her but the depression had a stronger bind.

What thought counts when a person decides they are no longer worth being?

The rain falls harder as if it’s the last day for heaven to grieve.

She looks around and sees the ocean of black shadows, grievers, leaving.

The eyes of clouded green showed not a thought she could weave.

He had left her with a thought that counts but also left her grieving.

Your Friend

You were always there for me,

A shoulder to lean on when I needed one

And I was there for you like I thought it would always be. 

But then things changed and shadows fell like a cloud over the sun.

You were still friendly and kind.

So I tried to shake the feeling that you were hiding something

But I couldn’t stop the ideas and thoughts that came into my mind.

And that’s when I knew nothing would be the same, nothing.

You wanted so much money

And I gave you what I could

But then you wanted more; I hadn’t given you enough, isn’t it funny,

I used to be your friend and thought I always would.

You told me nothing any more

And your lies burned holes in me,

Made my heart sore.

You were slowly losing a friend and you couldn’t even see.

I lost a dear, old friend

Because the truth couldn’t be told,

I act like I don’t care but I do, and I don’t think I’ll be able to mend.

You had been my best friend and losing you made me feel lost and cold.

Click on image for larger version

*Note: I do not own or take credit for above image.  

   




*Note: I do not own or take any credit for above photos/images. They belong to Summit Entertainment, Twilight the movie, and characters of Stephenie Meyer's. I only edited and added the quote.

Confessions of The Unnoticed

Look right through me, there you go,

Smile politely and use that poison to play your role.

What deceiving manners and illusions you’re troubled to line in such a neat row,

For a person you think so horrible and low.

I speak the truth, I speak my mind,

To only have it used against me all the time.

I possess no falsities; don’t wish to employ deceit of any kind;

But you make your judgments, twist my words and actions; the worst torture one could find.

Look straight at me with loathing in your eyes.

Send accusations flying, but how could they reach one so high?

Stab me down from my lofty thrown with your ludicrous cries;

For, you must know all, from your lacking observations; as if they weren’t all lies.

I feel deeper emotions than what the surface might share.

The thoughts I hold are the opposite of what the unknowing might think I bare;

It all builds up, these misunderstandings, until the seams start to tear.

But hold onto your ill-placed perceptions and keep that steady glare.

Look down upon me to laugh in my face.

Belittle me in front of loved ones and strangers alike, just to gain another base.

Call me out just for having enough spine to oppose your view and alter your pace.

Oh, being one so great, surely you’re always right on all and any case.

I might appear an appeaser but I have a tenacity all my own;

My eyes and ears catch so much more than you’d ever condone.

I’m not a little disposable puppet silenced so that my lips can be sewn.

Confessions: I’m unnoticed- I confess the unnoticed as they’ve grown.

Consider

The sun imprints itself upon her closed eyelids like a heavy seal,

Churning bright kaleidoscopes of warm colors under their steady veil;

While the grass provides an earthly bed, the subtle tickling reminds her that it’s real,

And the crisp breeze that counters the steady heat of the sun sends wisps of her hair to sail.

If she lay here long enough she could trick herself out of all the worries of reality,

Let herself fall under the fast moving current of such an illusion.

Her mind has wandered this path before but the shadows are constantly present, reminding her of mortality.

And deep down she knows she could never allow herself such delusion.

Her eyes flutter open and the weariness seeps back into her bones;

The exhaustion weighs her down until she feels about to break.

But she never does; there’s no escape from under such heavy stones.

This is reality where tragedy and disappointment spawn and uniting is forgotten even when lives are at stake.

She lifts herself off her forgiving bed and casts her gaze to the sky;

What clarity and serenity it possesses, seemingly without a fault or care.

But even the sky deceives; within that endless blue it holds a lie.

So, she levels her gaze to the earth, and then the horizon to walk forth with a weight that is not only hers to bear.

(Another piece of mine that I'm not too tolerant of but might as well put it out there. Need critiques and/or edits)

Drought

All the love in the world could fill every ocean, every entity of being.

It could make the monstrous ocean waves seem like gentle tides lapping at the shores upon seeing the ripples created by love.

But one drop of hate can dry love up at its very source.

Every ocean, every entity will fill up again, but never the same, never complete.

For those bodies now know what such drought is capable of.

They’ve felt what it is to be completely and utterly empty.

They boast the scars, deep etches and hollows of the Earth.

So; they can fill but never absorb as much to thrive.

They give back a little less every time,

Hoarding away its resources in case of that drought.

Always wary of becoming that empty, that broken.

So, they hoard away what they can and give away what they dare;

And they wait; until they are Healed.

Hush Now, Love

A low hum builds in my ears,

Seeming to drown out every other sound:

The chatter of people, blare of music, roar of the engine as he puts the car into gear-

Nothing seems to break through this sudden aching realization in which I’m bound.

It feels as if I’m outside my body- drowning under this weight,

But still I feel the merciless stabbing and tearing of my heart.

I can’t catch my breath and he doesn’t seem to notice, like a fish intentionally ignoring its bait.

And that’s when the tears come, those humiliating silent tears that there’s no stopping once they start.

Hush now, love- don’t shed those tears.

There’s nothing to fret, no reason for your emotion.

Quiet yourself down, control those foolish fears.

Because there’s nothing to give, nothing to tell- I swear to you on my devotion.

How could I not have seen it? How blind I have been.

The way he distanced himself and flitted from mood to mood like a broken dial;

The constant avoidance and smoothing over of issues as if discussion was worth nothing but a slightly off grin.

The change in his grey-green eyes- deep down I knew I hadn’t seen the true him in such a long while. 

I suppose I wasn’t enough for him, in a variety of ways.

Not enough to fill that void that grew like an undetectable black hole,

Festering and gnawing at his insides, pushing him farther into the poisons he craves.

Not even enough to be relied on with his addiction and able to make him change- no matter what the toll.

Hush now, love- don’t shed those tears.

There’s nothing to fret, no reason for your emotion.

Quiet yourself down, control those foolish fears.

Because there’s nothing to give, nothing to tell- I swear to you on my devotion.

I turn my head slowly to look at him; the scenery blurs into dashes of color out the windows as we speed past.

He doesn’t look away from the road as tears slid down my face and as I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I reach out my trembling hand to touch his arm, scared he might pull away and that this chance will be my last.

His arm is warm under my touch- as he finally glances my way I see that the true him is missing but not gone- a sliver of him not yet to leave.

Hush now, love.